Tomorrow (Jan 9, 2009) is the 36-week mark of my pregnancy. I have trouble sleeping, I have heartburn, my joints hurt, and I am tired and weepy. And I am happy. I have a brand-new human being growing and kicking inside me, and soon, God willing, I will get to hold him in my arms. We will name this child and present him to the Lord on his baptism day.
The waiting, especially this close to my due date, is hard. I have so many things I want to accomplish before the blessed event, but not enough time, talent or treasure to do it all. I wish I could strip and polish the kitchen and bathroom floors (or better yet, replace them with something sturdier and easier to clean); replace the little bath tub that has no place to rest your head with something a little more comfortable and patch a hole in the big tub so water doesn’t leak down beneath the house (or wherever the water goes); organize the garage with sturdy shelving and put everything away so that there’s room for both cars and all the bikes, with easy access to everything; sew hems on the curtains throughout the house so they don’t drag on the floor; prepare meals (breakfast, lunch & dinner) in advance so that I don’t have to cook anything for a while after the baby’s born ….
The list could be eternal, but none of it is really important after all. Somehow I will survive if I can’t relax in the small tub. Having boxes of Christmas decorations piled in the guest room for a little while longer will (probably) not kill me. Right now the important things are the children sitting around the table working on Math, the little ones playing with the toy kitchen pots under the same table, the hard-working husband making his business work, and the Mama thanking God for all these blessings and trials, because this is my path to heaven.
So I wait. Not always very patiently, not always the picture of serenity. But inside my soul is at peace. I sigh heavily under the weight of my growing belly, but I know God is with me every step of the way. I know He will be with me when this tiny miracle comes out to meet the world.